Exploring Emotional Responsibility in Relationships

In the realm of relationships, the concept of freedom often takes center stage. It is a term that evokes images of liberation, exploration, and the breaking of chains. Yet, as Victoria Onken, an Amsterdam-based expert in ethical non-monogamy (ENM), suggests, this notion of freedom can sometimes mask a deeper truth. The paradox lies in the idea that autonomy, when not paired with emotional responsibility, can lead to avoidance rather than genuine connection.

Victoria has spent years observing the dynamics of open relationships. She has seen individuals and couples approach the idea of ENM with a sense of curiosity and care. However, she has also witnessed the overwhelming feelings that can arise when the initial excitement fades. "I've watched people open their relationships with real curiosity and care, only to feel overwhelmed. Instead of feeling free, they feel scattered-afraid to land anywhere." This sentiment captures the essence of her work: the delicate balance between the desire for freedom and the need for emotional engagement.

The journey into ethical non-monogamy often begins with a longing for autonomy. People seek to explore their desires, to connect with others outside the confines of traditional relationships. Yet, as Victoria points out, this quest for freedom can sometimes lead to a disconnection from oneself and from others. "Freedom without emotional responsibility feels hollow," she states, highlighting the emptiness that can accompany a lack of vulnerability.

In her practice, Victoria encourages individuals to reflect on their emotional availability. The question shifts from "How free am I?" to "How available am I willing to remain?" This reframing invites a deeper exploration of what it means to be in a relationship-whether monogamous or non-monogamous. It challenges the notion that freedom is solely about choice and independence. Instead, it emphasizes the importance of being present and engaged with one's emotions and the emotions of others.

The line between autonomy and avoidance is often subtle. "You feel it when one person keeps showing up emotionally while the other keeps calling it space," Victoria explains. This dynamic can create a rift in relationships, where one partner seeks connection while the other retreats into a self-imposed distance. It raises questions about the true nature of freedom in relationships. Is it about having the option to explore multiple connections, or is it about fostering deep emotional ties with those we choose to be with?

Victoria's insights are rooted in her own experiences. With a background in art direction and a personal journey through ethical non-monogamy alongside her husband, she brings a unique perspective to her work. She understands the complexities of navigating relationships that challenge societal norms. Her approach is not prescriptive; rather, it is an invitation to explore the nuances of emotional responsibility.

In a world that often celebrates independence, Victoria's perspective serves as a reminder of the importance of vulnerability. "Freedom that can't tolerate vulnerability isn't freedom. It's distance with good branding," she asserts. This statement encapsulates the essence of her philosophy: true freedom in relationships requires a willingness to be open, to share fears and desires, and to engage with the emotional landscape of oneself and one's partners.

As individuals embark on their journeys of exploration, weather in the world of dating or as they open up the relationship, Victoria emphasizes the need for self-reflection. The path to understanding emotional responsibility is not always straightforward. It requires a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths and to engage in difficult conversations. It is about recognizing that freedom is not merely the absence of constraints but the presence of meaningful connections.

Victoria's work is grounded in compassion and critical thinking. She offers judgment-free support to those navigating the complexities of ethical non-monogamy. Her approach encourages individuals to sit with their questions, to explore their desires, and to consider the emotional implications of their choices. In doing so, she fosters an environment where vulnerability is not only accepted but celebrated.

The exploration of emotional responsibility in relationships is a journey that invites introspection. It challenges individuals to consider how their choices impact not only themselves but also their partners. As Victoria articulates, the quest for freedom must be balanced with a commitment to emotional engagement. It is a delicate dance that requires awareness, empathy, and a willingness to be present.

In a society that often equates freedom with independence, Victoria's insights offer a refreshing perspective. She invites individuals to reconsider their definitions of freedom and to explore the emotional responsibilities that come with it. The journey into ethical non-monogamy is not just about expanding one's horizons; it is also about deepening connections and fostering emotional intimacy.

As individuals navigate the complexities of their relationships, Victoria's work serves as a guiding light. She encourages reflection on the nature of freedom and the importance of emotional responsibility. In doing so, she challenges the prevailing narratives that often prioritize autonomy over connection. Her insights remind us that true freedom is not found in avoidance but in the willingness to engage with our emotions and the emotions of others.

In conclusion, the exploration of emotional responsibility in relationships is a profound journey. It invites individuals to reflect on their desires, their fears, and their capacity for vulnerability. Victoria Onken's work serves as a reminder that freedom, when coupled with emotional responsibility, can lead to deeper connections and a more fulfilling relational experience. As individuals navigate the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, her insights offer a valuable perspective on the delicate balance between autonomy and emotional engagement.

Learn more on https://victoriaonken.com/

Contact Information:

Victoria Onken

Marcantilaan 461
Amsterdam, North Holland 1051MJ
Aruba

Victoria Onken
0031615166084
https://victoriaonken.com